Below are the 2 most recent journal entries recorded in psychostardust's LiveJournal:

Saturday, July 10th, 2004
2:09 am	stuff i hate the way im feeling right now i feel like shit.... i dont know if its cuause im not at home or if its because i dont know what else it could be i just have this deep feeling in my chest and its killing me and i cant seem to win at life at the moment brandon was just online and got offline cuase i was talking to matt but i was talking to brandon first and he said some stupid shit about me using him to talk to matt whatever that is about ill never know. i hate it here my life isnt going ne where here there isnt nething here i want to do and im not sure whats holding me here weither its my sister lisa or its brandon or weither im scared to leave.... i really want to go to flordia so bad but lately i just keep finding reasons to put it off just a little bit longer... i hate myself im getting to that low point again and i really hate it i want to turn myself around before i get to that really low point but i dont know how to do it.... Matt usally helps me see things a good way but i havent talked to him in a long time not really a long time its been two days but i talked to him everyday for like two weeks................. i dont know whats wrong with me or why i do this to myself. i want to be happy and im not so sure i know how to do that ne more im just kinda here and blah... im out (Comment on this)
Monday, April 26th, 2004
12:55 pm	school..... school is boring so i decided to start my journal that i finally go around to working on... i was just on junior lunch shitf nothing special just sitting with the "brads". Im skipping my math class that i dont do nething in.. so yea my sister came up yesterday and i had a chance to hang out with her its been a while since i seen her, might try to go down and see her sometime this week. umm.. Mark and I are doing alright.. were talking more and fighting less Im trying to not let stupid things upset me.. cause sometimes i do get upset over the stupidest things.. I wish i would of gotten to see him yesterday because i miss him so much.. his mom wouldnt let him come down cuase he had to help her clean the house! blah! He said i could come down and spend the weekend this coming weekend and alan said he was going to bring big fish over so we could all watch it so not that bad of plans as long as i get to spend some time with mark. He's my world and i dont know what i do with out him, and yes i know everyone says that but i really wouldnt know what i'd do with out him because i know how he is and i wouldnt be able to not be around a person like him becuase he knows how to have so much fun and he just makes me really happy... were just at a bump and things have been rough lately but i know were going to be okay. what can i say im in love the boy. I have this book that mark gave me to read its pretty interesting its Cool Gardens by Serj Tankian (lead singer of system of a down) its poetry. The guy who does the art work in this book is really good. I love the way he draws. I dont know what to talk about so im just going to type and see what happens... Im at school in the libaray and umm there are alot of ppl in here that i cant stand.... lol travis just walked thu the libaray and rubbed his nipples at me haha ( in a gay voice) "Silly Travis" that boy cracks me up. Im tired and my stomach hurts and blah i dont know alright im done writing cuase im going to check out my sisters journals and then write something to them so thats all for now (1 Comment |Comment on this)